Nearing the end of our first week in Belgrade

This is about the end of our first week in Belgrade. We are actually traveling to an area of southern Serbia called Sandžak on Friday afternoon, and will be there for two days. This week has been really interesting so far, as we are trying to get used to being in a much bigger city. And it really is much bigger than Zagreb. In Zagreb, it is very easy to tell that everything important, everything interesting, everywhere you might want to go, is right in the center of the city and easy to get to. Here, there is a main center, but important things are everywhere, much more spread out. Honestly, it’s kind of scary for me. I am so not used to being in such a big city, and I am really struggling with that.

We are having our classes in a building of a school called FMK, which is Faculty for Media and Communications. We have language class every day, and lectures, but here we’ve been going to class later than in Zagreb, usually around noon or even later. The faculty is really nice and new, and there is a café in the lobby that we can go to between lectures. Another thing that is really cool is that every morning I go on a run through a park 2 minutes away from my house that is in what used to be the biggest fortress in Belgrade. Plus, people are always walking their awesome doggies in the morning. 

On Tuesday night, we met with a group of about 20 other college-aged students who were a part of a program that sent them to the United States to study for a year. The idea was to force us to make some friends our age who are familiar with Belgrade, who could take us out and show us around. We did a really awkward circle of forced talking (our academic director has experience doing peace discussing between people… I forget how it is called). Afterwards, we all went out for a drink at a really nice bar on this “touristy” street.

Today, (Wednesday) we had class again. We went through a frustrating (for me) lecture connecting philosophy and “the politics of difference/identity.” I don’t know very much about philosophy and so it was interesting, but I had trouble understanding the connection between the two.

After that frustrating lecture and discussion, my friends and I went to get a quick beer before heading home to eat dinner with our host families. We went in the opposite direction of where I live, which I thought would be okay, since I live so close to the main square. Of course, because I thought that, it clearly meant that I had to get lost on my walk home. When I am heading home, I go into the main square and take one of the pedestrian streets towards Kalemegdan (the huge fortress), and then turn right and go straight to my house. However, tonight, in the dark, I took the wrong pedestrian street. All of the streets have cafes with patios full of tables and umbrellas bleeding into each other. The street I took looked like it had more tables than usual, but I just attributed it to the fact that it was nighttime so more people are out having drinks. As I walked further down the street, it looked more and more unfamiliar. It was a sea of tables, and looked like and endless forest of umbrellas arching over shadowy figures. The street was loud and jam-packed. I stumbled through the pulsating crowd of people, small and alone with my huge, heavy backpack awkwardly swinging behind me, out of my control. I kept walking, hoping to reach the end, hoping for something to look familiar, hoping for the obscuring umbrellas to part, and Kalemegdan to appear. Instead, the patios just got denser with tables, the clubs I walked by more intimidating. Colored lights were flashing, and not a single word I could hear out of all the chatter around me was a familiar one. It was like a hellish nightmare. I just wanted to know where I was, to be headed in the right direction. I was tired, it was late and I was extremely irritated. All I wanted was to be at home, real home, and not be lost and confused and uncomfortable anymore.

Of course, I eventually got home. It really didn’t take that long because I don’t live that far away from anything, but I think that experience was the first time I really felt like I would give anything to be at home and to get out of this country. Most of the time, I’m happy with being here. Every once in awhile, I feel extremely happy to be here. This morning, I went on a run through the fortress. It was beautiful and empty, except for people walking their dogs, and I just felt so happy and lucky. I didn’t have class until noon, didn’t have any homework or papers to worry about yet, and was simply enjoying the scenery and the doggies. Other times, I just feel a twinge of missing home. Maybe I’m just sitting at a café with all of my friends, but I suddenly wish I could just be at home, in my room or on my couch, not having to worry about being uncomfortable or unhappy or confused any more. And tonight, I really felt for the first time that I would have given anything to be home immediately, and wanted to cry at the fact that I still have to be here for 10 more weeks. 

But anyway. Other than that, everything is going well, and I'm looking forward to our trip this weekend!